Dear Seeker of 80s Magic,

Has reality got you down? Are mundane Monday meetings making you wish for more magic in your life? Kryptonite Radio Theater proudly presents a fantastical fever dream that proves sometimes the best escape is through a crystal maze... or atop a luck dragon... or via the Cliffs of Insanity (we're working on the insurance paperwork).

🗡️ "The Neverending Labyrinth" 🐉

Welcome to a world where teenage girls face off against Goblin Kings, where ancient turtles dispense wisdom (between sneezes), and where true love means having a solid grasp of advanced probability theory.

Join our heroes as they:

• Navigate a quest more twisted than a unicorn's horn

• Face villains who challenge you to dance-offs AND battle of wits

• Discover that some wishes really should have come with warning labels

Why venture into the 80s with us?

1. Because sometimes you need a break from reality (and what's more unreal than 80s fantasy hair?)

2. Because every hero's journey needs a talking horse with impostor syndrome

3. Experience goblin choreography more puzzling than your tax returns

4. Finally understand why you should never make deals with magical royalty

Warning: May contain traces of:

• Glitter (Industrial quantities)

• Inconceivable plot twists

• Horses with existential crises

• Improbable hair volume

Don't miss this magical misadventure that proves there's more than one way to storm a castle (but the Goblin King's way is definitely the most fabulous)!

P.S. As you wish. (But what we wish for is your attendance)

P.P.S. Exit polls show 100% of audience members now believe in luck dragons (margin of error: ±1 skeptical unicorn).

Yours in enchanted entertainment, The "Yes-Those-Are-REAL-Crystal-Balls" Crew

#ThatsWhatHappenedInTheSwamp #NeverTrustASpaniard #GlitterNeverDies #ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceCastles #InconceivableButTrue #DanceThePainAway