Dear Holiday Enthusiasts and Seasonal Mischief-Makers,

As the festive season approaches faster than a sugar plum-fueled reindeer, Kryptonite Radio Theater is thrilled to present a holiday extravaganza that's more packed than Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve!

Introducing: "The Naughty List Chronicles" - It's the holiday show you didn't know you needed, but now can't live without!

Join us on December 13th and 14th for:

• A Festive Mash-Up: Witness your favorite holiday tropes collide in a tinsel-powered explosion of laughter!
• Unexpected Guests: From Soviet Elves to Lovecraftian Horrors, our holiday party has a guest list that'll make your office Secret Santa look tame!
• Live Sound Effects: Experience the magic of foley artists creating winter wonderlands and toy shop mayhem before your very ears!

Don't Miss:
• The Ultimate Cinematic Holiday Universe: Watch as we cram every holiday movie cliché into one epic (and epically ridiculous) adventure!
• Carols Like You've Never Heard Them: Prepare for musical numbers that'll have you questioning your sanity (in a festive way, of course)!
• A Cast of Merry Misfits: Our actors are ready to jingle, jangle, and bumble their way into your heart!

100% HOLIDAY CHEER*
100% NAUGHTY (AND NICE)**
100% UNFORGETTABLE***

*May contain traces of humbugs. Consult your doctor if "bah" becomes your primary form of communication.
**We've checked it twice.
***Seriously, you'll be finding tinsel in weird places for months.

So hang your stockings, leave out the cookies, and join us for a holiday spectacular that proves there's more than one way to deck the halls!

Yours in festive frivolity (and mild panic),

The "Elves-Unionizing-Is-The-Least-Of-Our-Worries" Crew at KRT

P.S. No reindeer were harmed in the making of this show. The Grinch, however, is in therapy.

#SleighingIt #MerryMayhemIncoming #BringYourOwnEggnog #HoHoHoMyGosh #YuleBeLaughing #MistletoeIsNoExcuse

Dear Space Explorer,

Need an escape from current events? Like, REALLY need an escape? Kryptonite Radio Theater proudly presents a cosmic reimagining of a classic that boldly goes where no pirate has gone before!

🚀 "Treasure Island - in Space!" 🚀

Welcome aboard the Admiral Benbow Space Station, where the morning's biggest problem is a malfunctioning translator... until a dying spacer crashes in with coordinates that will take us to infinity and beyond.

Join our heroes as they:
• Navigate through characters stranger than any Mos Eisley cantina
• Embark on a treasure hunt that's definitely not a trap (we think)
• Discover that some treasures come with a price

Why venture into the final frontier with us?
1. Because some weeks, you just need to leave the planet
2. Because every treasure map needs three dimensions
3. Experience wit sharper than a lightsaber
4. Finally learn why that red alert keeps flashing
(Spoiler: You really don't want to know)

Warning: May contain traces of:
• Dark corridors that definitely aren't hiding anything
• Strange noises that are surely just the engine
• That creeping feeling when you realize you're not alone
• The sudden urge to scream (even though no one can hear you)

Don't miss this stellar adventure that proves there's more than one way to make a star go dark!

P.S. Resistance to attending is futile.
P.P.S. Exit polls show 100% of audience members prefer space travel to current events.

Yours in stellar entertainment,
The "That's-No-Moon-That's-Our-Theater" Crew

#ThisIsFineTotallyFine #WeNeedAnotherPlanet #IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis
#MostlyHarmless #GameOverMan #TheresAlwaysABiggerFish

Dear Theater Enthusiast,

Kryptonite Radio Theater invites you to an evening of mystery, wit, and Victorian intrigue!

🎭 "Sherlock Holmes: A Study in Scandal" 🎭

Step into the fog-shrouded world of Grimcliff Manor, where family secrets lurk in every shadow and murder is just around the corner.

Watch the great detective at work as he:
• Deciphers clues that would baffle lesser minds
• Uncovers a conspiracy that spans generations
• Trades barbs with suspects sharper than his cheekbones
• Attempts to solve a case before Watson can say "Elementary!"

Why attend, you ask?
1. Experience the thrill of a classic whodunit brought to life
2. Enjoy dialogue so witty, it should be illegal (we checked, it's not)
3. Marvel at deductions that will leave you speechless
4. Immerse yourself in Victorian London without the questionable hygiene

At Grimcliff Manor:
• The Blackthorne family puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional
• Even the walls have secrets (and possibly ears)
• The Grimcliff Phantom may be more than just local legend

Don't miss this thrilling adventure where the game is always afoot and the plot is thicker than London fog!

P.S. No deerstalker hat required, but a keen eye for clues is highly recommended.

Yours in mystery and suspense,
The "No-Real-Murders-We-Swear" Crew

#221BorNotToBe #MysteryLovesCompany #WhoWouldntDunnit

Dear Loyal Theatergoers and Unsuspecting Adventure-Seekers,

As the summer heat fades faster than our actors' memories, we're back with a show so unexpected, it'll make our last cancellation look like a well-executed plan!

Presenting: "Mississippi Jones and the McGuffin of Doom" - It's not the adventure you asked for, but it's the one you're getting!

What's New?
• Unexpected Turns: A beginning that'll confuse you, a middle that'll perplex you, and an ending we're still figuring out!
• Global "Misadventure": Journey from the streets of New Orleans to the jungles of who-knows-where.
• Live Sound Effects: Experience the thrill of coconut shells pretending to be horse hooves!
• Laughter Guaranteed: Whether you're laughing with us or at us, you'll definitely be making noise!

Don't Miss:
• The McGuffin of Doom: Is it a weapon? A paperweight? A metaphor for our dwindling sanity? Come find out!
• Our Hero: Witness Mississippi Jones untangle clues with the determination of a man who's forgotten why he entered the room.
• A Cast of Thousands! (Okay, more like dozens. Well, at least ten. Definitely more than two. We're still negotiating.)

100% ADVENTURE*
100% AUTHENTIC*** ACCENTS
100% DOOMED****

*May contain traces of actual history. Consult your doctor if symptoms of education occur.
**We googled "how to do accents" for 5 minutes, watched a few movies and now we hope for the best.
***Our careers, mostly.

So don't be a wet blanket! Grab your fedora, pack your sense of humor, and join us for an evening of archaeological mishaps and historical hilarity!

Yours in perpetual optimism (and mild panic),
The "We Swear We're Professionals" Crew at Live Radio Theater

P.S. No artifacts were harmed in the making of this show. Our egos, however, are another story.

Ahoy, Heat-Tolerant Comedy Lovers!

We've chosen the hottest month of the year to bring you the hottest show in town - "The Salty Seaman's Curse"!

Set sail with the lovably incompetent Captain Barnacle Beard and his ragtag crew as they search for legendary treasure. Watch them try to outwit (or just survive) the dastardly Capitán Don Martínez, a villain with an ego as big as the ocean.

Will our heroes find fortune or just more trouble? Join us and find out!

Featuring:
• Daring sea battles (now with 50% less seasickness!)
• Cryptic prophecies that confuse pirates and audience alike
• Live sound effects that bring the high seas to life (or at least try to)

💫 100% PIRATE-THEMED FUN
💫 100% SWEAT-INDUCING ADVENTURE*
💫 100% GUARANTEED TO BE BETTER THAN STAYING HOME (MAYBE)

*Air-conditioning provided by the combined power of your own hand-fans and our actors' enthusiastic gesticulating. Please bring your own fan for optimal cooling experience.

Don't miss the boat on this comedy! Book now and join us in our sweltering theater for some hot pirate humor. It's either this or melting at home, right?

As Captain Barnacle Beard would say, "The only thing we're sure to find is trouble... and a whole lot of perspiration!"

Get Tangled in Our Hilarious Time Travel Mess!

Forget everything you know about the classic time travel tale - we've taken massive artistic liberties for maximum laughs.

Join us for "Back to the Past", a shambolically side-splitting live radio play parody!

(Causality? We barely know her!)

Witness our charmingly challenged cast create chaos as a hapless teenager gets swept into a ridiculous time-warping fiasco.

Bizarre townfolk, brain-twisting paradoxes, and painfully reincarnated musical numbers - it's all here for your giggling pleasure.

(Our profound lack of a special effects budget means you're in for a real treat...)

This ramshackle production practically guarantees you'll be stuck in an infinite loop of asking "What just happened?!" But you'll be laughing too hard to care. 

Or you'll find out you're living in the darkest timeline, where none of the jokes actually land. 

Don't miss your chance to get tangled in our hilarious mess! Grab your tickets now before we come to our senses.

(Refunds will be issued in the form of temporal credits.)

Are you ready for an evening of merry mischief in Sherwood Forest?

Well, hold onto your codpieces, because we've got a treat for you:

"Robin Hood: Outlaws Unleashed"

Don't let this chance pass you by like a squirrel through the treetops!

Greetings, Brave Adventurers of Absurdity!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to present:

Kong - The Eighth Wonder of the World

Join our band of intrepid yet slightly bewildered heroes as they navigate the shadows of Skull Island. Striving to outwit the formidable Kong, they find themselves in a jungle where logic remains as elusive as a buried treasure chest. Tune in for an adventure that's part wit, part mayhem, and a whole lot of... 'unconventional' plot twists.

🎭 What to Expect:
Immerse yourself in live sound effects that may or may not make you question reality.
Witness the latest in state-of-the-art live 3D action on a shoestring budget.
Groove to live jazz beats, because every good adventure needs a soundtrack, right?

Escape the mundane and join us for a night where adventure meets the edge of reason. Gather your friends, your neighbors, or that cousin who always shows up uninvited – everyone's welcome to witness the chaos that ensues when comedy meets the unknown.

🌟 Always Remember:
Just like an overly ambitious DIY project, attending "Kong - The Eighth Wonder of the World" guarantees an adventure filled with laughter, unexpected surprises, and a healthy dose of "What did I just sign up for?"

🎟️ Get Your Tickets Now!
Secure your seats to this laughter-laden escapade. Don't miss out on the comedic rollercoaster, questionable decisions, and the possibility of wondering why you're laughing so hard at this glorious mess!

Greetings adventurers!

Join us as we embark on an epic quest of bravery, magic and questionable decision-making in our new production "Dungeons and Demons - Sirens of the Lost Ark."

Join our band of unlikely heroes as they seek fame, fortune and forgotten mysteries. Will they survive fearsome beasts? Outwit seductive temptations? Or will their own bumbling buffoonery be their undoing?

Experience the thrill of live steel on steel combat!

The wonder of ancient incantations!

And the horror of mildly awkward social situations!

Escape the noisy crowds, creepy costumes, and Carnival chaos this year. Our show may be equally absurd, but hey, at least it's intentional!

Gather your entire adventuring party to bear witness to some of the poorest decision-making in all the realms.

It's more fun than watching the complete Lord of the Rings extended edition in one go!

Well... maybe not.

But it's definitely faster!!!


So join our troupe of thespians-turned-larpers for a show that's guaranteed to deliver a wonderful tingle of excitement mixed with vague regret.


Will our heroes prevail or be extinguished like a 1st level mage? 

Will they stay the course or perish faster than a peasant in the plague?

Will they overcome mighty obstacles or fail like the noobs they are?

Get your tickets now!


Live sound effects!

Live potion brewing!

Live tavern music!

And always remember: a natural 20 is an automatic crit!

Greetings Kryptonite Radio Theater fans!

This holiday season, join us on a capricious journey through quirky Christmas customs from around the world with our production “The KryptoNite Before Christmas.”

Meet some shifty Icelandic houseguests who have their own naughty traditions and marvel at a controversial Catalonian nativity scene that’s not for the puritanical. 

From wily to weird, amusing to avant-garde, these oddball global traditions will sleigh you with mirth. Gather the whole family to experience sublime storytelling and cheer at the top of your lungs. It’s more fun than scouring streaming services for holiday specials!

Get your tickets now before this limited engagement sells out faster than Santa’s cookies. We can’t wait to celebrate with you!

Live actors!

Live sound effects!

Live everything!



And always remember: It's not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from the Nakatomi Plaza.

Now let's get one thing straight right from the beginning:

This is not your everyday radio theater experience.

This one is... special.

This one is for the lovers of the arcane and the admirers of eldritch horrors.

"CTHULHU - The Nightmare Awakens" - a chilling adaptation inspired by H.P. Lovecraft's nightmarish imagination.

In a world where ancient tomes whisper madness and secrets too horrifying to comprehend, a young woman is plagued by nightmarish visions, drawing her into a web of cosmic terror.

As a diabolical cult spreads cryptic symbols and eerie rituals across the globe, an unlikely group of investigators assembles, each possessing unique skills or obsessions. Together, they are drawn by fate to confront the unspeakable - a nightmarish being of immense power and malevolence, lying dormant beneath the ocean's depths, awaiting the moment of his awakening.

Live actors!

Live sound effects!

Live cosmic dread that defies imagination!

Join us as we traverse the unfathomable abyss, follow the breadcrumbs of madness, and uncover the unspeakable (or is it "unpronounceable"...?) horrors that await.

Don't miss the madness. Stay tuned for "CTHULHU - The Nightmare Awakens" and prepare to be terrified!

Don’t miss it!!!

GET YOUR TICKETS HERE!

Hey there, fellow adventurers!

Brace yourselves for an epic escapade, as Kryptonite Radio Theater unveils "The Three Musketeers" like you've never imagined.

(Trust us, we're just as surprised.)

Swashbuckling swordfights!

Unbreakable bromance!

Sneaky villains!

Heartwarming romance, honor, and loyalty!

But wait, there's so much more! 

We're cranking up the excitement with toe-tapping, heart-thumping musical numbers that'll have you singing along and dancing in your seat.

(It's a spectacle you won't want to miss... or maybe you will, no judgment).

Prepare to be transported to 17th-century France with live sound effects that'll have you questioning if you're in a time machine.

(Spoiler alert: you're not, but we like to dream big).

Our stellar cast brings these iconic characters to life with as much excitement as a squirrel on caffeine!

Hold onto your hats for 100% LIVE action! 

Clash of blades, thundering hooves, and sweet justice served!

Don't miss this swashbuckling extravaganza! 

Grab your tickets and join the Musketeer Madness!

Remember, with the musketeers by your side, it's all for one and puns for all!

Are you ready for an evening of fairy tales?

Yes?

Then you're lucky, because we bring you:

"Once Upon a Fairy Tale"

Don't miss this madcap reimagining of our classic fairy tale shows.

Will there be music? Yes.

Will there be traditional tales? Yes.

Will there be zany action? Of course.

A thrilling evening full of live sound effects and lots of old time radio action!

100% LIVE

100% FUN

100% KRYPTONITE

No unicorns were hurt in this production.

Are you ready for an evening of oriental adventures?

Yes?

Then you're lucky, because we bring you:

"ARABIAN NIGHTS"

Don't miss this breathtaking evening of mystery and adventure!

A thrilling evening full of live sound effects and lots of old time radio action!

100% LIVE

100% FUN

100% KRYPTONITE

Kryptonite Radio Theater puts the "bad" in Sinbad. 

“Dungeons & Demons” is back!!!

A fantasy trilogy of epic proportions - or... our version of one. 

Of course there will be a quest. 

And a Dark Lord.

Maybe a dragon.

But definitely: 
Lots of fun!!!

So come on over and see for yourself!

Live entertainment! Live music! Live EVERYTHING!

100% LIVE
100% FUN
100% KRYPTONITE

You have asked for it - and we have listened.

Get your tickets for our next production::

DON'T PANIC!

Or as we affectionately call it:

The Traveler's Manual of the Milky Way

Yes - it's the story that has it all:

A reluctant hero. (Of course he's British.)

A piece of liquid absorbing bathroom cloth.

A multilingual marine creature.

And of course: the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything!

Get ready for this hilarious audio experience and prepare to have us melt your little nerdy hearts!

Live singing!

Live sound effects!

Live everything!

Hey folks!

Let's make this very, very clear from the start:

This is not your typical KRT show.

This one is different.

This one is dark.

This one is for the geeks and nerds out there.

"At the Mountains of Madness" is based on H.P. Lovecraft's horror novella and promises to bring you radio thrills you wouldn't expect in a regular KRT production.

So, get ready for a creepy audio experience and prepare to be scared!

Live singing!

Live sound effects!

Live everything!

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 09 - 7pm

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 - 7pm

Kryptonite Radio Theater is back with:

“THE LOST WORLD"
(based on the novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

Yes! We bring you a story that has it all...

Adventure...

Romance...

Thrills...

and...

...special 3D Monster effects the likes of which the world has never seen before!

Get ready for an exciting evening full of live sound effects and lots of old time radio action!
Don't miss this show that will bring you all the charme of a 1930s adventure movie!

Live entertainment!
Live sound effects!
LIVE EVERYTHING!

Time for something completely different!

It's like Monty Python meets the Marx Brothers meets Saturday Night Live - just with a strong dose of Kryptonite.

If our "ball-themed" commercials were already too much, then this show is not for you.

But maybe you're in the mood for something more... risqué?

Something... raunchy?

Racy?

A show for... adults?

Good!

Then don't miss "KRYPTONIGHT live" - songs, skits and sketches for grown-ups!

Live music!

Live sound effects!

LIVE EVERYTHING!

Who in their right mind would create a show including "The Wizard of Oz" and "Conan the Barbarian"?

We would.

So be prepared for our brand new, off beat, wonky, crazy, zany one-act version of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" - followed by a high tech, 3d, surround sound performance of "Conan the Barbarian".

Just kidding.

We don't do high tech.

Or surround sound.

But: we do have terrible costumes...

...and bad accents are our specialty!!!

Don't miss "Wizards - Witches - Warriors" - an exciting evening for young and old!

Live music!

Live sound effects!

LIVE EVERYTHING!

-------------------------------------------------------------

CURRENT COVID RESTRICTIONS:

Limited seating only.

Please be prepared to mask up when not in your seat!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19 - 7pm

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20 - 7pm

Three actors.

Two sound effects artists.

An insane number of human and non-human characters.

Let the games begin!

Oh, yes! We bring you the story that has it all...

Adventure!

Romance!

And... KONG!

The 8th Wonder of the World!

An exciting evening full of live sound effects, zany accents, a healthy dose of Don Martini*, and lots of old time radio action!

Don't miss this show that will bring you all the charm of a 1930s monster movie!

Live entertainment!

Live sound effects!

LIVE EVERYTHING!

*Side effects may include lightheadedness, sweating, nausea, and hearing loss.

-------------------------------------------------------------

CURRENT COVID RESTRICTIONS:

We are applying the G2 rule - which will allow us to run "normal" productions again.

This means:

We can no longer accept negative Covid tests.

At this point everyone in the audience needs to be either fully vaccinated or recovered.
Please be prepared to provide documentation upon entering the venue!

We cannot let you in otherwise!!!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29 - 7pm

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 30 - 7pm

‘Tis the season to be... scared!

It's "HALLOWEEN"!!!

Come and join us for our brand new Halloween production full of all the creepy, crawling horrors we are looking for at this time of the year.

Be prepared for a show full of ancient Egyptian mysteries, bug-based horror, and musical madness!

Of course you can also expect the trifecta of KRT entertainment:

Commercials!

Bad costumes!

Terrible accents!

We have worked tirelessly to put this show together and our graphics team deserves a special applause for coming up with the highly imaginative title for this show.

(Honestly, I don't think they're even trying anymore...)

Critics call it the best KRT Halloween show in one and a half years!

Live sound effects!
Live music!
Live EVERYTHING!

-------------------------------------------------------------

CURRENT COVID RESTRICTIONS:

We are applying the G2 rule - which will allow us to run "normal" productions again.

This means:

We can no longer accept negative Covid tests.

At this point everyone in the audience needs to be either fully vaccinated or recovered.
Please be prepared to provide documentation upon entering the venue!

We cannot let you in otherwise!!!

FRIDAY, SEP 10 - 7pm

SATURDAY, SEP 11 - 7pm

TICKETS

It' Sci-Fi time again at KRT!!!

Don't miss the return of your favorite heroes and allow us to make your little nerd hearts jump with excitement!

We're not entirely back to "normal" yet - but this will be our first full production in one and a half years!

That means: you finally get to pay the full ticket price again!

Hooray!

And… you won't even have to click an extra box to do so!

You're welcome.

Featuring:

A KRT tribute to Isaac Asimov's "The Last Question"

and...

The Amazing Interplanetary Adventures of Stash Gordon and Gale Garden - The Musical!

EPISODE II - Rise of the Ping

(Don't worry if you missed "EPISODE I" or any of the prequels, sequels, or alternate timelines. We will make sure to include a short recap of the most pertinent events. At least the ones we remember. Because let's be honest: at this point, nobody - not even the cast or the director - is keeping track of this stuff anymore.)

and...

All the other things you have come to expect from us! Namely commercials, bad costumes and terrible accents!

Critics call it the best KRT Sci-Fi show in one and a half years!

Live entertainment!
Live music!
Live EVERYTHING!

-------------------------------------------------------------
CURRENT COVID RESTRICTIONS:
At this point everybody in the audience needs to be either fully vaccinated, recovered or tested negative.
Please be prepared to provide documentation upon entering the venue!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 27 - 8pm

SATURDAY, AUGUST 28 - 6pm and 8pm

CURRENT COVID RESTRICTIONS:

At this point everybody in the audience needs to be either fully vaccinated, recovered or tested negative.

Please be prepared to provide documentation upon entering the venue!

Now to the fun part!

Yes! KRT is back with:

“THRILLS and MYSTERY - RADIO HOUR EDITION"

Pandemic. Lockdown. Quarantine.

There's one thing that is guaranteed to cheer up all of us:

Classic.

Bloody.

K R T - HORROR!

So strap all in for an hour of chilling entertainment!

Including:

"The Winged Death" by Hazel Heald and H.P. Lovecraft

...and as much other stuff as we can pack into one hour of creepy-crawly KRT madness!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

Just for a little longer, we'll bring you all the fun of KRT
in our true and tested pandemic package:

One weekend.

Three one-hour performances.

Limited seats.

No intermissions.

No food.

JUST.

PURE.

KRT.

FRIDAY, JULY 16 - 6pm and 8pm

SATURDAY, JULY 17 - 4pm, 6pm and 8pm

Yes! KRT is back with:

“ONCE UPON A FAIRY TALE - PANDEMIC MUSICAL EDITION"

Don't miss our return to fairy tale land full of classic stories and musical numbers the likes of which you've never seen. Or heard.

Including:

"Beauty and the Beast - the musical"

"Rumpelstiltskin - the musical"

And as much other stuff as we can pack into one hour of KRT madness!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

Just for a little longer, we'll bring you all the fun of KRT

in our true and tested pandemic package:

One weekend.

Five one-hour performances.

Limited seats.

No intermissions.

No food.

No drinks.

JUST.

PURE.

KRT.

FRIDAY, OCT 30 - 6pm and 8pm

SATURDAY, OCT 31 - 4pm, 6pm and 8pm

Let's make this very, very clear from the start:

This is not your typical KRT show.

This one is different.

This one is dark.

This one is for the geeks and nerds out there.

"The Call of Cthulhu" is based on H.P. Lovecraft's horror novella and promises to bring you radio thrills you wouldn't expect in a regular KRT production.

So get ready for a creepy audio experience and prepare to be scared!

In order to meet social distancing requirements and keep our shows as safe as possible, we'll bring you all the fun of KRT

in a new and different package:

One weekend.

Five one-hour performances.

Limited seats.

No intermissions.

No food.

No drinks.

JUST.

PURE.